Therapeutic Foster Care in rural Western North Carolina

I hope that Creative Families will support, encourage, and refresh those of you who provide therapeutic services for children in desperate situations. I also hope to stir the desire of others to open their homes and hearts to children who have no where else to go.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Just a Child

Sitting down with some very experienced foster parents for the first time, they told me "we do foster care differently from most people."  When I asked them to explain, they said "most therapeutic kids have to earn things to go in their rooms; we don't do that.  When a foster child walks in our doors the "foster" is dropped; they are just a child."

These parents are right.  Though a child may require therapeutic level boundaries and interventions, she still deserves a childhood.  The child still deserves fun comforters and music to listen to, stuffed animals on their bed and toys in their room, goofy socks and hair barrettes.  A child should not have to earn the right to be a child.  Though she may need to earn certain privileges, she should not have to earn a family's affection or a comfortable environment.  Children will meet the challenge of both the environment and the expectations of others.  The nicer and more respectful the environment, the more children will respond with care.

How do you create a comfortable and respectful environment?  Stay away from sterile.  Though therapeutic, you are a home not a hospital.  Many children, even older children, who have experienced abuse wet the bed at night.  So find a mattress cover that is not plastic or that doesn't crinkle when someone rolls over. Use colors to brighten or calm the environment.  Accent with rugs, curtains, pillows.  Provide dressers and shelves and closet storage that encourage organization.  Give the child a home tour when they first come, state the rules of the home and post them in visible place.  It may seem trite or insulting to state simple rules like knocking on doors before entering or dressing behind closed doors or talk about emotions instead of hitting.  But those rules, as simple as they seem, are not universal.  Stating and posting rules will let the child know the expectations up front and will teach communication and respect.

Create a special, safe place that a child wants to be.

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